WHO GUIDES YOU THROUGH LIFE? #creatingachange with soulfood <3

Jennifer Lalk

GOOD MORNING SUPERHERO <3

"Face up to the sky, always dream high, set your goals crystal clear so that they won´t disappear through the hustle of the daily life, until we make it, right?"

To be honest, I am super nervous today, because it is my first shooting in a real movie studio here in Germany ever! I will meet the rock band, some producers, film makers, directors, the management and so on. I want to give 110%, because for me, today is such a huge chance. No one ever believed in me here since I told my parents at the age of 12 for the first time in my life, that I wanna become a model and an actress. I told you already that the people in my village are VERY small minded, and I mean I am okay with it. Be like that, but don´t always talk negative to and about the people who are not like that, you know? I never went to an acting school, but I started to dance ballet at the age of 5. I did it for 11 years, we performed on stade in the theatre. It was the same with the circus and in school I always was a part of the theatre group and the chorus. I played the sax for four years and I was a singer (not a very good one to be honest, but I guess it was okay). I just LOVE TO PERFORM. I wanna be on stage even though in private, I am like the most introvert person, but Idk, as soon as I get the chance to be on stage, to shoot or what ever, I turn into a different person and my extrovert side is coming out. I feel like being absolutely in the moment during this times and I love it so bad! I turn into the model or the character and nothing else seems to matter. Performing is another world for me, where I can get totally lost within myself. I just hope so much that I will be able today to show them what I am capable of. If I do a good job it could, possibly create really interesting career options :O In my head I was already thinking about, if I impress the moviemaker and the director, who is also writing scripts and he won a price for his last short movie......he could have me in mind as the actress for another script, you know? GOSH I AM NERVOUS ! I know that it makes no sense to think about all the if´s BUT I mean common we are all just humans and it is normal to be a bit extra excited or?

Also, this would be the chance for me to at least move out of my hometown. The last couple of months, since I moved back from the states were extremely hard. Atm, I am living at my moms house. We are 7 people in total with 2 cats. To be honest with you, I don´t have a good relationship with my mom. Idk, seriously, if you can even call it "relationship". I know it sounds super hard and trust me, I tried everything the last years, but since she married her boyfriend, now husband or my step father, WITHOUT telling me, even though we were living door to door and I was just 21, I kinda gave it up. We can´t choose the family we were born into, but we can decided to be happy and here I am not happy at all. I don´t wanna get to deep into that topic, because it would take me days to explain it, but I just can´t wait until I am finally able to leave forever. And seriously what makes me super sad is, that she tries everything to keep me small. She does not say a single positive word in relation to my dreams, goals or even the hard work I am putting into realizing it all over the last years. She is no support, more the absolute opposite. She screams at me every single day, saying I think I am something better just because I work out, eat healthy and educate myself. She always tries to get me down to her level. I don´t complain, but as you can imagine it is super hard to get away from that, to not feel guilty of having these thoughts if it is just the truth. What I wanna say is: build up that inner strength, choose the comments you are letting into your mind. You don´t have to listen to negative, mean words even though if they are coming from the people who should usually be your biggest supporters, like for example your parents. I respect my mom and I will be forever thankful that she gave me my life, but it is still okay, to find your happiness somewhere else, if it is just not possible within some parts of the family. Some periods in our lives can be very dark, hard and though. Especially then, we should be our own guides while trusting god and the universe that they will guide us right, if we keep following our inner voices.

I am praying so much and I trust god and the universe that he will be with me. And then today, I will breathe in and out, take another DEEP BREATH to make sure I am calm and ready on the inside and then I WILL SMASH IT !! The only thing I learned from being constantly told to never make it from my own mom is, that I built up that inner strength and believe in myself TO MAKE IT! I never gave up that hard work, even though she was able to feed my insecurities for so many years, because of corse she knows with what she can hurt me the most! It sounds like a nightmare, but this is my real life. I am sorry for this, but I kinda needed to once tell it someone. I usually fight with all this on my own, but I just can´t do it anylonger, because it stresses me and steals my focus for so many hours during the day. I want my own life. I want to achieve my goals. I am ready to work even harder every single day, if this means that I will be finally financial so independent that I can make a living out of my passions! I could just cry thinking about how much I wanna perform, be seen, heard and ABLE TO HELP OTHER PEOPLE!

Please wish me luck guys!! I wish you the best start into this new week ever and promise me to never ever give up. Ignore negativity, don´t use shitty circumstances as an excuse to not work hard towards your goals and the life you wanna live! Don´t let other people´s vision of yourself, their small mindsets or own dissatisfactions stop you! I know we will all make it. Let´s make ourselves more than proud this week!

I LOVE YOU.

Jen <3

Comments (36)
No. 1-14
ASIANANGELA
ASIANANGELA

💓 @Jennifer Lalk , I readapted this children’s poem just for you to enjoy! 💓

Twinkle Twinkle Lovely STAR,
How I know that you’ll go far,
Up above the stage so high,
Like a diamond in the sky,
Twinkle Twinkle lovely star,
Sending all the positive energy so you’ll go far! ⭐️✨⭐️✨⭐️

AprilLambert
AprilLambert

Okay so first of all Wow, your words always get me emotional! I have never come across anyone in my life that has so much beauty on the inside not to mention you are absoulutly stunning on the outside! Sometimes the people in our lives who should support us and believe in our dreams dont even know how. My mom is a great supporter of my dreams no matter how big or small but I havent spoke to my dad in a very long time and its because he will never believe in my dreams or feel the magic I can feel! That is not something I should be sad about nor should that ever stop
Me from pushing for my dreams! Im so sorry to know that you mom doesnt support you in the most meaningful thing in your life, you deserve all the love and support to follow your heart and explode your dreams! Sometimes we let the fear of others stop us because we worry what they will say or think but Jenny my amazing and loving friend those people dont have the ability to comprehend what dreaming is! You mom brought a beautiful, amazing, talented superstar into this world so she best gets used to living her fears through your accomplishments! Use this negative energy to carry you to dreams! When you feel sad because you want your mom to support just think about how sad it would be to think like she does.... its hurts you to have so much inside that mom doesnt support but my dear Jenny she will one day see you living your dreams and will be on her hands and knees in front of you begging to be apart of your big life!!! remember this is your life, your dreams and its your responsibility to believe in yourself! I believe in you so much and I know that new movie guy will fall in love with your beautiful soul!!! Keep dreaming and never never worry about what someone else thinks because they are the ones missing out! So much love xoxoxox good luck 🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞

megespa
megespa

Always the most thoughtful words! 🥰 also, that makeup is soo cool!

Viklyn
Viklyn

So much depth in your post.. It seems that we all getting to know you better each. Rest assured all the luck is with you... It always is when someone works hard at what he or she enjoys. Sending positive vibes. ❤️💖🙏

LisaRose
LisaRose

You have a gift with words:) You are beautiful inside and outside. I think you can do anything you set your mind to! Good Luck XOXOXO

Patricia_Andrea
Patricia_Andrea

Absolutely gorgeous! I already know you KILLED this role! People can only give you what they have. Your mother is incapable of supporting you. Maybe she was not supported as a child. Therefore, she is unable to give to you what she doesn't have. Forgive her anyways. But don't let her negative comments affect you. Instead, replace them with positive thoughts. Sky is the limit for you!!! I can't wait to see you on the big screen!

Ashleybelk
Ashleybelk

Inside and out you are amazing and beautiful!!! I will always wish you luck with anything you do. You will do great !!!! You already are shining like a star. You give everyone amazing words and advice. I am the same way Jen!!!! If I ever get a chance to do a photo shoot or be filmed I know it’s my time to shine and I give everything I got but other then that I like to be to myself sometimes !!! Have a beautiful week and I wish you the best. Lots of love to you <3

Grace Hawaii
Grace Hawaii

I wish you so much love and luck - you will be amazing. You already are. 🌺🌺

jordynserrino
jordynserrino

You really are so amazing. You inspire me. I’m so happy you’re following your heart. True beauty inside and out. Love you girl🤍

Nadia_Udelnova
Nadia_Udelnova

Jen!!! You are so beautiful and strong!! I love this photo, it is amazing!!! I understand your situation with your mom, but trust me, she only wants the best for you in life! She loves you very much!! When I lived with my parents, I also often quarreled with them, I thought that they didn’t love me, they wanted me only bad things.. But this is not at all true !!! They want only good for their children and are ready to give everything for us, even their lives! Hope your relationship with your mom improves! I am also very pleased with your video, it will be 100% bomb !!! Good day and success in life !!! I love you !!! ❤️Xoxoxo

AlyssaSuro
AlyssaSuro

So gorgeous and great message! You remind me a little of Paris Hilton in this shot! <3

FJLau
FJLau

Aloha beautiful friend 🌺
Love your reads always. Your eyes 🔥 oxox

Mandageier
Mandageier

I’m proud of you! Keep chasing your dreams beautiful! You a strong person! Always reach for the stars ✨

JessicaCortes
JessicaCortes

Incredible Eye makeupp 😍