Six and the City: SI Swim Model Sixtine Chronicles NYC Adventures One Date at a Time

Sixtine.Sixtine

Welcome to 'Six in the City,' a cheeky column chronicling a friendly bet that blossomed into a thrilling commitment: one date every week! Buckle up for the wild ride with 2023 SI Swimsuit rookie Sixtine.

I’ve endured the whole dating app “rinse and repeat” for what feels like an eternity. Download Hinge, convince yourself to go on actual dates, undergo the frustration of a night out, drunk scroll, talk to a guy for a week, maybe even text, ghost him when he suggests a date, get offended by Hinge's "most compatible" suggestions, delete Hinge, swear to find someone the old-fashioned way, fail, get bored… and repeat.

Dating in New York City

As a New Yorker, the dating scene feels like a perpetual loop. In fact, I just recently hit my seven-year mark of being single. Seven years… that’s longer than it took some of my friends to get their undergrad AND master's degrees. Seven years of watching friends navigate relationships, have their hot girl summer, and fall in love, while I mostly remained single. No hot girl summers, no lasting crushes, and definitely no boyfriends.

After my last seven-year relationship, a few years of embracing the single life were necessary; but eventually, I began to wonder, "Is it me?" Friends assured me it wasn't, claiming I'm "wifey material" that guys don't want right now. Although meant as a compliment, all I heard was that no one wanted to date me.

Letting go

Fast forward to about a year ago, gearing up for a first date with a boy from Hinge, I realized it might be only my third date that entire year. Despite texting for a while, anxiety clouded my thoughts. “What if he likes me too much and I have to let him down?” I rambled to my roommate while I figured out what to wear. To be fair, that's a conversation I know we as women all dread having. My roommate, in her brutally honest way, snapped me out of it. "Get your head out of your own a–, Sixtine. You always assume things are going to go a certain way before it even happens instead of just letting the pieces fall where they do. Stop placing expectations on it and just have fun with it.”

She was right. The date was much more enjoyable when I stopped thinking about all the little things. Normally, I would imagine an entire relationship with someone before the second glass of wine was even poured. And every time, I would convince myself that no, this wasn’t the one for me, and would move on without further thought. So, I gave this date an honest try. He was nice, made m e laugh a lot and was cute. We ordered a pitcher of mango margaritas and by the end of it, he was a bit tipsy. More so than I was, but I found it endearing. At the end of the night, I let him kiss me before pointing him in the direction of the train because it didn’t seem like his directional skills were at their sharpest point at the time.

Somehow, for the first time in a very long time, I agreed to a second date. I wasn’t sure if I liked him, but I was proud of myself for approaching the situation with a “just go with it” attitude. We agreed to meet at my favorite wine bar in the East Village at 8 p.m. At 7:30, while I was on the way, I FaceTimed my best friend, Hannah, just to get the nerves out. Coincidentally, she had a date nearby and joined us at the same restaurant, ensuring a hilariously awkward situation. Shortly after I settled down, she walked into the bar with her date and sat across the restaurant. Just far enough to not get caught, but close enough that we could see each other clearly. While it was hard to not giggle and stare at one another at first, within five minutes, we were both distracted enough by our dates that we more or less forgot about the whole thing.

Facing insecurities

About midway through the date, I blew out the candle that was on the table between my date and me. It was hurting my eyes, but it was also casting horrible shadows on his face (and probably mine) and it was distracting me. Not long after, my date looked at me and said the words I’ll never forget. “Sixtine, I can tell you’re very secure and confident in yourself and in your body, and you’re a confident woman for the most part. But I can tell you’re insecure about dating.” EXCUSE ME? Like, not so loud, please? I was shocked. I asked him to explain what led him to say such a thing. He cited a joke I had previously made about how something I did was probably such an ick, and then referenced the candle. “You were insecure about how I perceived you in the harsh candlelight.” I knew deep down he still picked up on something I knew to be true: I was insecure about dating.

This realization prompted a pact with Hannah as she also had her own frustrations with dating at the time. We made a bet with one another that we would go on one date a week, with exceptions for travel. The objectives were clear:

1. Get over the fear of dating.
2. Get over the anxiety.
3. Stop romanticizing over a guy because he gave us the slightest bit of attention.
4. Stop placing expectations on people without telling them those expectations have been set.
5. And for the love of god, figure out the difference between liking a guy and liking the idea of him.

And so, the dating series was born- complete with a shared Excel sheet to keep each other accountable (and help us keep track of who was who). Which brings us here to my new column, where I'll spill everything from how those dates went, to where I am now, and everything in between. I hope you’re ready for these stories because I’ve got some good ones.

Xx,
Six