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Wednesday's Wide World of Weird: Merchandising Kate Upton—it's about to get weird up in here

HOW INFATUATED are you really with Kate "The Great" Upton? If your answer is a lot, which of course it is, then you are in luck my friend. We’ve scoured the web and found some truly bizarre options for ways to keep Ms. Upton close to you at all times.

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Kate for SI Swimsuit 2014

Kate for SI Swimsuit 2014

There's no shortage of tee-shirt options, but we were immediately drawn to this bro-tank featuring a silk screened image from Kate's glorious shoot for GQ back in 2012. Both classy and comfortable, the bro-tank is the cream of the crop in stylish new t-shirt silhouettes. Slap a pic of Kate Upton on it, and you've got the best thing since Ed Hardy.

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As for for the millions of women across the country (wherever you are) who can't get enough of Kate and that popsicle ​... 

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Of course bro-ing it out is not appropriate in all situations, so for those more formal events, there's another option to keep those baby blues on your person! As the adage goes, a man is measured by the cufflinks he keeps, and lucky for you, we have found the perfect pair

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Last but not least, something for the feet. Forget the rabbit foot and four-leaf clover and behold your new good luck charm: Upton socks. Getting cold feet will never again be a problem with the help of the steamy Kate snuggling up with your toes. Putting your best foot forward is an automatic every time you play a game of pick-up. And let's be serious: Tom Cruise would have looked a lot cooler during the skivvies and air guitar scene in Risky Business had he been wearing these babies, of which there are several options to choose from:

The scarf-and-boots-and-nothing-else look from her Antarctica shoot in 2013:

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But the good stuff doesn't stop at dubious apparel. Oh no. 

We've titled this painting, based on Kate's 2012 cover (we think): "Body painting, reconsidered." Several days after we first laid eyes upon this masterwork it was snatched up, right out from under us. Guess we'll have to rethink our Christmas lists . . .


And though it's not technically a Kate-inspired item, one SEO-savvy (or perhaps very confused) seller who tagged these equine bookends with the model's name...because Lord knows the Uptonites love them some quirky touches:


That's all the weird we could get our hands on this week. Until next time, keep gettin' weird.

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