Dear MJ: How Sexy is Too Sexy?

Advice, stories and memories from SI Swim’s editor in chief.

“Growing up I was very awkward and antisocial, but now that I’m in my 20s, I am more comfortable with myself. However, I have a problem with “sexiness.” Every time I wear or post something the slightest bit “sexy,” I feel like it may be considered inappropriate or offensive. Do you have any advice on how to overcome this fear? I feel like there is no better person to ask.

“Sexy” is an overrated word in my opinion. How about using language like “feeling your best” or “confident” or “powerful”? I struggle with adjectives sometimes because I feel they can be limiting and inhibiting. We are all a work in progress. No one is ever going to feel 100% (100% of what? Sexy? beautiful?) all of the time. It’s about finding your own personal comfort zone and embracing it unapologetically. By the way, that's something that is allowed to evolve and change over time, too! Whether you’re wearing a turtleneck or a thong, that is your way of expressing yourself. Don’t ever feel bad about it! xx