Fans Rally Around Rachael Kirkconnell After Her Matt James Tell-All on ‘Call Her Daddy’

The former ‘Bachelor’ contestant divulges the details surrounding her shocking breakup, citing the red flags she missed during the four-year relationship.

Rachael Kirkconnell / Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic/Getty Images

Rachael Kirkconnell and Matt James’s breakup came as a shock to fans when the 33-year-old North Carolina native shared the news on Instagram earlier this month. But what came as even more of a shock were the details behind why the Bachelor couple called it quits after four years.

What exactly went wrong? Kirkconnell sat down with Alex Cooper for an episode of the Call Her Daddy podcast that dropped the night of Jan. 28 to spill the details.

In the highly-anticipated episode, Kirkconnell discussed the highs and lows that came with her relationship with James. One of the most disappointing things was James’s reluctance to propose. While James gave Kirkconnell his final rose on The Bachelor, he wasn’t ready to pop the question at the time. No engagement ring, initially, wasn’t a big deal to her, however, as the relationship began to blossom, eventually leading to four years together, marriage still not being on the table became concerning for the 28-year-old Georgia native.

“Our third year of dating was when I started to just ask ‘So like where is this going?’ I didn’t ever want a timeline of things. I never wanted to know like when a proposal was coming,” Kirkconnell explained. “I want to be so shocked, so surprised. But I do want to know that that’s [marriage] where your head’s at and that we’re on the same page.”

Kirkconnell later added, tearfully, “It was like, just confusing to look back on now because when we would talk about things, he always seemed like he was on the same page. [...] The words were there and us talking about taking the next steps––all of that was fine, but the actions obviously weren’t there.”

According to Kirkconnell, the former Bachelor lead also pinned most of the blame on her during arguments, accusing her of not being able to take accountability or own up to her mistakes.

“I feel like I was apologizing a lot. Even if I was the one that was mad about something,” she added. “But at the end of the relationship, he said that I have a hard time taking accountability and apologizing. And I’m sitting here, I’m like, ‘I’m going crazy because I feel like I do say sorry a lot for things that I’m not even like sure what I’m saying sorry for.’ I think we just had hard times understanding where we’re each coming from.”

Arguably the most shocking part of the podcast episode, though, was when Kirkconnell got to the breakup. After an argument during a last-minute trip to Tokyo, James seemingly came to the realization that he couldn’t commit to her. “He said that at the end of the day, there were just qualities about me that he worries about having in a wife,” she recalled. “At the end of the day, there are things that we aren’t compatible with.”

After their split, Kirkconnell headed to the airport for a previously scheduled flight back home, and just hours after she last saw James, he took to Instagram to share the news—without giving her any heads up.

“We’re literally getting ready to take off and my phone blows up,” she said. “It’s one of my best friends and it says, ‘Rach,’ with a bunch of question marks, and as soon as I saw that, I’m like, ‘Oh my gosh, how does she know,’ and then she texts me again and said, ‘I saw Matt’s post. Is this real life?’ And that’s how I found out that he posted. So then, literally the plane is taking off and I see his post, and that’s it. I don’t have any service or anything for the next twelve hours.”

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A post shared by Matt James (@mattjames919)

After hearing the podcast episode, fans rallied around Kirkconnell, sending her support during this difficult time as well as reaffirming to her that she would be just fine after the split.

“Can’t wait to see her proposed to and glowing and happy in a couple years with the love and grace she deserves. [Rachael], you are going to be just fine mama,” one comment expressed.

“You can tell she was walking on eggshells their entire relationship, this is no way to feel with someone you plan on spending the rest of your life with,” another fan wrote. “This break up was a blessing in disguise for her. I pray she finds someone who will make her feel seen, comfortable, safe and loved because this man is NOT it!”

“THIS is how you handle a public breakup!! She did it with class & dignity and can walk away from that with her head held high,” another comment stated.

In regards to James’s breakup post, many are labeling the timing and method as “manipulative.”

With Kirkconnell coming forward about the relationship, fans wonder if James will do the same. No matter if he does or not, however, the support she’s received is nothing but appreciated.

“Just wanted to say thank you for the love and support. Everything feels scary and discouraging right not but I believe everything happens how it is meant to and I know it will be okay,” she wrote on her Instagram story. “It’s a blessing to be able to feel things and let them hurt. Life is a messy and beautiful thing and I am thankful for all the ups and downs it brings. Love you guys.”

As of today, Kirkconnell seems to be taking it one smile at a time, taking to IG on Jan. 29 to share photos from Tokyo—yes, the same location where the breakup happened.

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